Oh my gawd!

Someone call the people at Lonely Planet! I think I just found the "real India". YOU'll never guess where it's been hiding from the clamouring masses of backpackers frantically searching for it. Delhi, Kolkata and Mumbai are just distractions like the line ups at Disneyland. You know, the ones you wait in for hours only to be let down by the cheesy music and mechanically flawed ride. The "real India" lurks in the backstreets of the Victoria Terminus in Mumbai, the smiles of the person you sit next ot in the train and the sales reps who teach you Bengali phrases as you wait for your newly purchased punjabi suit to be tailored. The "real India" always asks 'which country' and wishes you 'a happy journey' on bumpy roads filled with high beams and shop keepers who never have any change for a 100 rupee bill. Why didn't Lonely PLanet print a guide fro all those hapless backpackers looking for the "real India"? It should be shelfed right next to the guide on "real life". Apparently "real life" only exists in the "real world" which happens when you are not travelling. There is no guide to the "real world" oddly enough becaus no one seems to be able to find it on the map.