Kuih Kapit Request Letter #18

After some 'persuading' Yas got it in. It's sorta half love, half advice, half bitter. That's right: three halves make one love letter.

dear gina—here is your belated love letter. it’s not a haiku and it doesn’t rhyme. apologies for the delay. i’m a busy, and also generally a selfish procrastinator. that’s enough of a disclaimer. let’s get down to business. here it is—love the only way i know how: advice.

don’t feel sad about being back! this is prime time for being smug! you are better than the rest of us schmucks who were chained to our desks and this grey, (comparatively) boring city last year. use that! walk around looking down on us and continuously dismiss things here. try starting every sentence with “pfft! when i was in india …” or another example if you can work it in: “yoga? please! when i was meditating with the dalai lama recently…”

i know you’re not upset just about being back, and that you’re also under personal stress. from what you’ve told me, it seems like all of the demands and requests being placed on you are unreasonable, unfair and inconsiderate of your life or feelings. people who consistently do that to you, whom you love or whom you can’t rid your life of, shouldn’t occupy your mind and heart—or at least the problems they’re creating shouldn’t. i know it’s hard but i wish you could take a step back and see that you have nothing to feel guilty about and—this part may be harder—that they don’t mean you any harm. that way you might not be hard on yourself or on them, and the problem might seem a lot smaller. ok, back to the less serious advice.

cook me food. what the hell are you waiting for? you’ve been traipsing all over the east and stuffing your face with delicious and different flavours and posting pics of it and i’ve had just about enough. i went from being mildly happy for you to being very jealous. i’m crossing over into bitter, so hurry up. make me food inspired by your experiences. i’m tired of living through you. plus you haven’t seen my new place yet. i moved last year, you know. things happened in my life too!!! sheesh. you can make up for your neglect by making me these meals on my premises once a month for the remainder of the year. then maybe we can work things out and try and salvage this friendship. maybe.

there. your love letter. you must be feeling better already. thank me later. with that food.
xoxoxo
yas