Update from the Nam

Where did I leave off? I think I finished one of the posts with Emma and I going out. I took her to Le Pub where we put le beer in le stomach. Her dad gave her no curfew but then at 3am he was sorta mad that she wasn't back yet. The Vietnamese-Aussie doctor, David, took us back to the hotel. I tried to avoid Emma's dad all day long and while I was walking laps around the lake I met Vu, an American Vietnamese dude. He walked up to me and said something like: "It's pretty busy on the streets here, huh?" That led to two nights of hanging out with some local Vietnamese people.

Later that day, Emma's dad did find me and told me a story about being robbed in Thailand. I was so happy he wasn't mad at me. Phew. Emma came out to the karaoke place with me where Vu outdid himself in a sparkling white suit. Our table had a dedicated waiter. The guy wouldn't move. He just kept refilling our drinks. The karaoke was wonderful. Lots of Vietnamese ballads. The bar closed and because his friends knew the owners we hung out another couple of hours drinking scotch. We were joined by another six Vietnamese guys. I was offered a free massage by Peter. His wife owned the salon and it employed "oriental slash european techniques". Then Peter told me he was MBA which stands for married but available. "Another one of the guys at the table told me I looked Muslim. That was the first time anyone guessed my religion rather than my ethnicity.

The following day I had lunch with Emma and her dad . They took off to Malaysia. I felt horrible. Partially because I was hung over for the third day in a row and because I hadn't actually seen any sights in Hanoi (because of being hung over for the third day in a row). My daily routine thus far involved walking to the kebab shop and getting a doner before aimlessly wandering through the crowded motorbike traffic.

Eventually though I dragged my butt to the Museum of Ethonology. One of the best museums in Asia.

I really liked their displays and it seems that the newly weds of Hanoi really loved the reproductions of ethnic minority buildings set in the garden behind the museum.

I went out clubbing that night at Apocalypse Now. But first we (Vu, me and his crew) went back to the karaoke bar for a variety show where a Vietnamese tart sang a Shakira song immediately followed by Silent Night. The dancing girls were quite the hit. I told Vu's friend I liked that best about the show and he told me that I should have told him earlier because "in this bar I can make anything you want happen."

Everyone at Apocalypse was Vietnamese and within minutes I was dancing with what I presumed to be a gay man. He tried to kiss me and that was the end of his gayness. The dance floor was packed with tables. Vu was at one table jealously guarding the bottle of Hennessey he had just purchased. I walked from table to table and had drinks with a bunch of local dudes. Everyone was really friendly and even the girls would pull me over to dance. Then Vu told me he was sick, I turned around to say goodbye to someone I had been talking to, when I turned around again Vu was gone. So, I stayed at the bar and approached three tall white dudes. They offered me a ride back. One of them was totally wasted. We had to coax him into the taxi. I was dropped near my hotel and decided to walk. A motorbike driver followed me. "You want motorbike?" I kept saying no but I think he realized I was lost. Eventually I jumped on and then the fun started. He whispered over his shoulder at me "Marijuana. Marijuana? Opium? Opium?" I declined. Then he took his hand and rubbed it up and down my leg "Sex? Sex?". A definite no to that one. I made a smooth exit by tripping over a gutter when I got off the bike.

Christmas in Hanoi was interesting. By this time, Chris had made it across the border from Laos. The Sam Neua border crossing story he and his travel friends told was horrible. I'm glad I didn't try crossing there. It seems that the border officials are a wee bit corrupt up there and make it hard for you to catch a ride (other then the one they offer you, of course).

Everyone in Hanoi was on their motorbikes cruising the streets. The buildings were empty. I'm sure of it. The traffic was even crazier than usual on December 24. On the way back to the hotel we sat on the sidewalk with a group of locals and had rice wine. Three minutes later a cop pulled up to the curb, three feet away, and got out a megaphone to yell at us in Vietnamese. That was the end of the night.

Chris and I managed another day of sightseeing. The Temple of Literature and the Ho Chi Minh Museum were nice places to wander. Not overly exciting but nonetheless worth a look.

On December 27, otherwise known as my birthday, I was hurting. Again. Chris left. I crawled out of bed at 1pm and called Dave, the Aussie doctor. I had promised him lunch for taking us back to our hotel that night. We met at City View Cafe in the evening for a very nice dinner. The view over the intersection was spectacular. Four lanes of traffic converging on one point without traffic lights.

Dinner was followed by drinks at a place called Jimmy Choo...I think. A swish restaurant/bar owned by a half Chinese, half Egyptian man born in New Zealand and raised in boarding schools in England. He's celebrated as the gastronomic enfant terrible of Hanoi. The restaurant is decked out in red silk drapes, providing not only a harem feel but also privacy around each table. The shisha pipes and dirty martinis are to die for. The complimentary nuts ain't bad either. The waiters all have headsets. Dave was great company. I felt comfortable with him instantly. We had a really nice long conversation. A great birthday and last night in Hanoi.

One thing left on the list was a snake meal. On my last day I hauled ass to Le Mat, just 10 km outside of Hanoi for a snake lunch. $10 got me snake rolls, stir-fried snake and salted snake. I ate as much as I could but must admit that the gag reflex did set in on a few of the chews. It's a rather rubbery meat when stirfried and a bit too squishy when ground.