Down South

I am no longer worried about my little brother being sodomized by 350 pound guys on his football team. The hazing is over and he has settled into his new home (an all male dormitory) down south. It's his first time away from home and he has finally been able to take some time out to let me know how things are going for him at school.

Our biggest worry was the hazing. Here, in his own words, is what the hazing process involved:

1) The first hazing thing we had to do was karaoke. I had to go up and sing O Canada and that song that i dont know the name to now... it goes "its not unusual to be loved by somebody else" I went up for an encore and sang ordinary people by john legend. it was fun and nobody was drunk or wasted because all the coaches were there and it was 1:00pm.
2)The second thing we did for hazing was a skit night. All the freshman (about 30 of us) had to seperate into groups of 5 and do skits about seniors and coaches on the team. Again nobody was drunk and the coaches were there again. this time it took place in the locker room though.
3) There was another part of the hazing though that coach wouldn't allow. We were supposed to get mandatory hair cuts and keep them for a week. basically they were going to shave things like bulls-eyes and penis' on our head.

Life's not all peachy for this freshman. He has to partake in many a mandatory activities that take a chunk out of his week including: practice four times a week, weight training twice a day (four days a week), curfew at 11 pm and 18 credits of university classes. That's not all though:

What really sucks is that i have mandatorry study hall/tutoring. I have to go in for tutoring a minimum of 6 hours and they check to make sure if i have been doing homework and going to class and everythig. They also have mandatory meal schedules... i get three planned meals a day. The food here is amazingly good because of my special meal schedule. we get things like lasagne, dirty rice with chicken, rice and shrimp, and we even had steak one day (but everyone says thats the one and only time we'll get steak) then on the side we have a salad and a bowl of 3 fruits that we have to eat (again they check if we ate everything and if we're still hungry we're only allowed to have more fruits and veggies... So far i went from 270 to 259... they also check our weight 6 times a day and make sure our fluid levels are high.

There we have it. He's not using spell-checker but he's singing Tom Jones covers and having his fluid levels checked six times a day. Our 259 pound baby is doing okay. Phew.