Baby Kecil and one lecherous man on the bus

After reliving my orangutan experience at a hostel in Kota Kinabalu I turned away from the computer and indulged the hostel owner by having a conversation with him. He (whatever his name) was trying to get me drunk and high in the lounge of his hostel. I was having none of it as I am very committed to updating my blog. The lounge contained some Germanic people who strongly discouraged me from visiting Brunei. That meant making alternate plans. However, by 2am I had decided that I would still visit Brunei the following day.

By 10am the following day it was clear that I could not get to Brunei even if I wanted. The one ferry that leaves for the oil-rich nation from Sabah had left at 8am. I got my backpack and took a taxi to the airport. Next stop Kuala Lumpur and then an overnight bus to Kota Baruh. I had not even settled into my seat when a lecherous man requested to sit next to me. The poor nerdy guy next to me had to move over so the stinky, dirty man could sit next to me. He looked at me with a certain disgusting look in his eye and asked me a million questions. I couldn't bare looking at him so I started talking at the seat in front of me or out the window. All I wanted to do is sleep, so I pulled out my ipod. He asked if he could listen along with me and I said no. He didn't quite hear me the first time because I was speaking at the seat in front of me. Next thing I know he's tucking me in and puts his jacket over me. I did the most appropriate thing possible: I grunted a 'leave me alone' grunt.

We arrived in Kota Bahru at 6am. The first boat to the Perhentian Island of Kecil was at 7am. This meant trying to avoid the lecherous man for an hour in a room the size of my cubicle. Basically I pretended to sleep for an hour until I had to board the boat. On the island he actually asked if I wanted my own room or share one with him. I found a place called the Lemongrass and the owner of the place was shocked when I told him I wanted my own place. Turns out he was shocked in a good way. He told lecherous man that he only had one shack and that he was going to give it to me. When lecherous man left he told me he had five shacks but he didn't like the looks of the man.

The day turned out to be amazing. I went out snorkeling two hours after checking in. Suddenly I was in the turquoise waters of the South China Sea with turtles, needle fish and sharks. Yup, so I ended up sighting the most sharks in the reef. Black tip six footers that looked the part and their tales did that thing that scares the crap out of me in movies. You know, that little wiggle. One of the girls (I think it was Rachel. They're twins it's hard to tell them apart) cut her finger on a coral and was bleeding. Then they got out of the water and I snorkeled away until I saw two six foot sharks swim toward me and one of them started circling below me. I stopped snorkeling and started swimming for the boat. Unfortunately the boat was a few hundred feet away and on my way toward it I encountered another shark.

Our last stop of the day we hit the Romantic Beach, I know, it's a pretty gay name but they make these things up as they go along. It was a nameless beach until tourists asked to be taken to it last season. The white sand beach was deserted and as we snorkeled I decided to dip down for a closer encounter with a turtle. It doesn't take very much dipping before the pressure of the water becomes intense. I got out of the water at the beach around the corner from our boat to encounter some naked ladies and naked men. They were French and trying very hard to get that tan-line-free look without burning their neither regions. Lots of sunscreen being applied in areas where the sun (usually) don't shine.

That night I had the first of three lobster meals at Coral Bay, on the other side of the island. There are no roads, no cars, no electricity and no hawkers on the Perhentian Islands. It's bliss. Turqouise waters, blue skies and friendly locals. Joe, Rachel and Annalise were island vets as they had some pretty nice sun burns to show off. We had planned to make it to sunset on Coral Bay but didn't quite make it in time as we were all applying various moisturizers to our burnt bodies. After dinner there was a fire show, the twins went to bed and Joe played some old folk songs a la Dylan. We ended up sitting alone on the beach at 2am and I told him how very sad my existence was going to become within a week.

Day two on the island involved a two hour snorkel venture one way from Coral Bay. Joe and I got to a secluded beach and hung out for a few hours with some more French people. These French people were also naked. They were also unattractive. It made making my tan lines go away a less self conscious affair.

Day three I left the beach. It was sad. At my next hostel all the men looked like sex tourists and then I was on a plane London bound. Bye bye Asia.