My dream, my dream, my lovely Eddie dream

"New York has Macy's, London has Harrods, Chicago has Marshall Fields, and Toronto has Honest Ed's. It is quite an attraction - honest," proclaims The Great Toronto Getaway, Buffalo, USA.

It is one of my biggest dreams to one day walk into Honest Ed's on Bloor at Bathurst and buy a $20,000 Buddhist shrine in the basement along with $5 olive oil, a $15 bust of Elvis, two packs of Big Reds gum and some 99 cent dish towels. I would then like to call a mini-van cab to help me lug the shrine back to my palatial home where all my visitors will be reminded to just breath at its sight every time they enter the foyer.

Honest Ed's is right in the Annex and it's a Toronto institution. Ed Mirvish comes up from New York every year to celebrate his birthday in a huge block party on Manning Street. Free hot docs. Scary clowns. Cheap deals and that Honest Ed discount centre smell prevail throughout the neighbourhood. All the seniors show up to see this 90 year old man being wheeled onto stage.

Not only does he own the bargain centre but he also produces top quality theatre! Multi-millionaire cheapo Ed feels shopping should be an entertaining experience. Hence, the walls of the fluorescent lit 160,000 square foot building are crammed chalk full of fading autographed portraits and Broadway posters. It should be noted here that I have yet to discover an autographed portrait of my man, the Hoff, on these walls.

Whenever I have a bad day at the office I overcome it by walking through the doors of Honest Ed's. The effect is magical, I am instantly transported to a world of cheap deals and Buddhist shrines. A place of environmentally conscientious fluorescent lighting, gaudy chandeliers and heartfelt cheesy slogans from the 1950s. No matter how bad the day, I know one thing for sure: one day my dream will come true. I will own a palatial home and a Buddhist shrine from Honest Ed's.